summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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