Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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