I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
