Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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