You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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