Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
