1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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