may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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