In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
