hell yes lets make some ravioli
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
