Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
