the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
