She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
