did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
