so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
