I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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