as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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