I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize