Barsexuality is the new black.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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