I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
