you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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