I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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