I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
