he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
