I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Operation Purity has been aborted
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
