She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
