my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
