One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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