You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
