talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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