some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
do herpes really smell.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.