omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background