i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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