No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
