I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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