what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
