But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
