States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
