Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
