I can't watch pbs sober anymore
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
