Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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