I queefed so loud it echoed.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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