I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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