That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
