North Korea, Best Korea!
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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