Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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