HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
