who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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