Pappa wants mamma naked
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He better not be in your backpack
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
