How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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