You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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