turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
