Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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