I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
