Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
