and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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