we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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